IVF Gratitude: The Things Fertility Warriors Are Actually Thankful For
- Amber Jean Wheatley
- Nov 25, 2025
- 7 min read
Every November, social media turns into a gratitude parade. Everyone is posting perfectly lit photos of their kids, their pies, and their beautiful, peaceful lives. And then there is the fertility community, trying to practice something called IVF gratitude while also trying not to scream into a couch cushion.
The truth is, infertility changes what gratitude looks like. It shifts the scale. It twists it. It makes the tiniest things feel monumental and the biggest things feel impossible. So here is the real, unfiltered version of what many of us are thankful for this season.
The Weird Things IVF Makes You Grateful For
Let’s kick this off with the stuff no one else understands. The journey of in vitro fertilization (IVF) is often filled with emotional highs and lows, and along the way, it introduces a unique set of experiences that can reshape what we find ourselves grateful for. These moments may seem trivial to those outside the IVF community, but they represent significant milestones in a challenging process. Here are some of the weird yet heartfelt things that IVF makes you appreciate deeply.
The phlebotomist who finds your vein on the first try
This is basically a spiritual experience at this point. It’s not just about the physical act of drawing blood; it’s a moment of relief and triumph. After countless attempts and the anxiety that comes with each needle prick, finding a skilled phlebotomist who can swiftly locate your vein on the first try feels like winning a small battle in a much larger war. It’s a reminder that sometimes, even in the chaos of IVF, there are moments of grace and efficiency that can lift your spirits.
Your progesterone shot not leaving a welt the size of a dinner roll
Small wins. Micro wins. Microscopic wins. In the grand scheme of IVF, where every injection can feel like a monumental task, celebrating the absence of a painful bruise or an unsightly welt becomes a victory worth noting. Each smooth injection is a testament to your body’s resilience and a small reminder that not every aspect of this journey has to be painful. It’s these little victories that help maintain a sense of hope and normalcy amidst the medical whirlwind.
A clinic that runs on time for once
Better than the Macy’s Parade. When you step into a clinic that actually respects your time, it feels like a miracle. The endless waiting rooms and delays can be a source of frustration and anxiety, so when an appointment goes off without a hitch, it’s a breath of fresh air. You find yourself appreciating the efficiency of the staff and the organization of the clinic, which allows you to focus more on your journey rather than the clock.
The heating pad that has seen more action than your social life
A real one. This trusty companion becomes your solace during the rollercoaster of IVF. While social outings may take a backseat due to the demands of treatment, the heating pad stands by you as a source of comfort and warmth. It’s a reminder that self-care comes in many forms, and finding solace in small, everyday items can help ease the physical discomforts and emotional strains that accompany this journey.
Leggings you can wear even when your abdomen is staging a coup
Bless them. The comfort of stretchy leggings becomes a lifeline during IVF, especially when bloating and discomfort are constant companions. These garments offer not only physical comfort but also a sense of normalcy in a time when everything else feels out of control. They remind you that it’s okay to prioritize comfort over style, and they allow you to navigate the world while feeling a little more at ease in your own skin.
Science
Not the inspirational quote version. The small, messy, chaotic version that keeps trying. In the midst of all the uncertainty, there’s an underlying appreciation for the science that fuels your journey. It’s not always glamorous; it’s often filled with trial and error, research, and the relentless pursuit of answers. Yet, this raw and imperfect version of science embodies hope and tenacity, reminding you that progress is often made in small, incremental steps, and that every effort counts in the quest for a family.
IVF Gratitude Is… Complicated
Plenty of people talk about gratitude like it is a light switch you turn on. But when you are living cycle to cycle, month to month, and heartbreak to heartbreak, gratitude is not a switch. It is more like a ghost light in a theater. Even when everything is dark, something tiny stays lit so you can find your way back.
During the holidays, that can be even harder. You may feel joy for others and grief for yourself at the same time. You may feel hopeful one second and completely hopeless the next. All of it counts. All of it is valid. None of it makes you ungrateful. It just makes you human.
**Side note:** Being alone in the fertility struggle can be isolating, especially at social events. It often feels overwhelming, like needing a hype song just to enter. However, I've learned some helpful tricks.
When faced with intrusive questions, try saying, "Let's switch topics before I turn Aunt Susan's mac n' cheese into a puddle of tears," or simply, "It's been a journey, and I'll update you when there's news." Be brief and direct; setting boundaries is self-care, and there's no need to feel guilty about it!
IVF Gratitude and the Things We Don’t Say Out Loud
Here are the things that rarely make it into the social media gratitude posts, but are real and true for so many of us.
Partners who sit through the meltdowns
Even the ones that happen at 1:13 a.m. for no apparent reason.
Friends who ask instead of assuming
The ones who say, “Do you want to talk about your cycle, or do you want to talk about anything but your cycle?”
The fertility warriors you only know from the internet
The ones who understand you more than half your family.
The moments when you find humor in the chaos
If you can laugh at least once every cycle, that is survival.
Here are the things that rarely make it into the social media gratitude posts, but are real and true for so many of us, often overlooked yet profoundly impactful in our daily lives and emotional journeys.
Partners who sit through the meltdowns
Even the ones that happen at 1:13 a.m. for no apparent reason.
These partners are the unsung heroes of our lives, the ones who quietly support us during our most vulnerable moments. They are there, not just physically, but emotionally, providing a steady presence when everything feels overwhelming. Their patience and understanding during these late-night episodes, where emotions run high and logic seems to fade away, are invaluable. They listen, they hold us, and they remind us that we are not alone in our struggles, no matter how irrational they may seem at that hour.
Friends who ask instead of assuming
The ones who say, “Do you want to talk about your cycle, or do you want to talk about anything but your cycle?”
These friends are a rare breed, demonstrating a sensitivity that is often missing in conversations about personal struggles. They recognize that sometimes we need to vent and share our experiences, while other times we just want a distraction from the heaviness of our reality. Their ability to gauge our needs without making assumptions shows a level of empathy that is deeply appreciated. They create a safe space for us to express our feelings, whether they are related to our fertility journey or simply a need for lighthearted conversation.
The fertility warriors you only know from the internet
The ones who understand you more than half your family.
In this digital age, we often find solace in online communities, where fellow warriors share their stories, struggles, and triumphs. These connections, forged through shared experiences and mutual support, can sometimes feel more authentic than those with people we see every day. They understand the nuances of our battles, the heartaches and the small victories, often better than those who are supposed to know us best. The solidarity we find in these virtual friendships can be a lifeline, reminding us that we are part of a larger community fighting similar battles, even if we have never met in person.
The moments when you find humor in the chaos
If you can laugh at least once every cycle, that is survival.
Humor can be a powerful coping mechanism, especially in the midst of chaos and uncertainty. Those fleeting moments of laughter, whether they come from a funny meme shared by a friend or a lighthearted joke made in the heat of the moment, can provide a much-needed respite from the stress and anxiety that often accompany fertility challenges. Finding humor in our circumstances not only helps alleviate tension but also fosters resilience, allowing us to navigate our journeys with a lighter heart. It’s these moments of joy, however small, that remind us of our strength and ability to endure.
Top 5 Things I’m Grateful For That Are Not My Hormones
Snacks
Warm socks
My couch
Memes
The clinic nurse who talks to me like she is my ride or die
Things I’m Grateful For Even Though IVF Is Testing Me Like a Final Exam
My determination
The scientific breakthroughs that give me hope
All those supporting me on this journey
My remarkable emotional strength
My dark humor that keeps me grounded
A loving and supportive partner who shares this journey with me
My psychologist who has guided me through everything, helped me understand it all, and taught me a lot about myself.
*side note: She also specializes in infertility, which has made a significant difference. To all the women facing similar challenges, I recommend finding a specialist too... She has been invaluable to me.
IVF gratitude is messy, complicated, and sometimes a little sarcastic. If gratitude comes easy for you this season, that is beautiful. If it feels distant or impossible, that is real and valid too.
Wherever you are in your journey, you are not alone.
You are allowed to feel everything at once.
And you deserve tenderness during this season, no matter what your story looks like.
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